I love him, but my friends hate him!

Updated: 03 November, 2020 07:34 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

It is always going to be your prerogative to accept or reject their opinion because the only people qualified to understand the nature of your relationship are you and your boyfriend.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

My boyfriend is a great guy and I love being with him. But, my friends only have bad things to say about him, which upsets me. They say he isn't the person he claims to be, and I know they have my best interests at heart, but I can't figure out why they don't want to give him a chance. I know he isn't perfect, and I want some things to change between us, but the lack of support from my friends only makes this harder. What can I do to convince them to change their opinion?
If they have your interests at heart, and are convinced he isn't a good person, you may simply have to accept that they mean well and have good reasons for saying what they do. It is always going to be your prerogative to accept or reject their opinion, because the only people qualified to understand the nature of your relationship are you and your boyfriend. I suggest you try and get a better sense of why your friends feel this way, examine the validity of their arguments, and try countering them with proof if you want them to change their minds. That is pretty much all you can do at this point.

I have been in a relationship with a guy for over a year, and his mother continues to behave as if I don't even exist. She controls him completely and I know he will end our relationship some day because of her. How can I deal with this?
You can't, unless he feels strongly enough to stand up to his mother. If you have spoken to him about this, and he doesn't have the ability or strength to change, it is obvious that his relationship with his mother will trump everything else. All you can do is hope that being with you is as important for him as it is for you. You can tell him how you feel, of course, but his bond with his mother is much older.

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First Published: 03 November, 2020 06:37 IST

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