I said some terrible things during a fight

Updated: Apr 04, 2020, 07:29 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I think I really hurt his feelings without really meaning to, and he hasn't spoken to me since

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picMy boyfriend and I had a massive fight last week then ended with me saying some very insulting things to him. I didn't mean to, but he said things that made me more and more angry. I think I really hurt his feelings without really meaning to, and he hasn't spoken to me since. I have apologised, obviously, but I think what I said has hurt him to such an extent that we may never be able to get back to the way things were. How do I fix this?

Actions often speak louder than words. You have apologised, and mean well. He may not accept that immediately, but time and space will allow him to recognise that you are genuinely sorry. Anger brings out the worst in us, but relationships become stronger when we learn to accept the bad with the good. If he hasn't seen this side of you, it will give him a chance to know you better. If he rejects that, your relationship will suffer but, if he manages to move past it, you may both arrive at a place of understanding. I suggest you hang in there until that happens.

Is it okay to end a relationship because the person you are with tends to overact to everything? My boyfriend turns the smallest issues into massive problems that take months to sort out. Every little thing becomes a life-changing deal because he can't cope with anything that isn't done his way. I used to deal with this at the start of our relationship because I thought it would change as he got to know me better, but I now realise this is part of his personality and I don't think I can accept or cope with it anymore. What should I do?

If you can't cope, and he refuses to change, there really is nothing you can do. Maybe ending this will convince him of why he needs to acknowledge the problem.

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