I spend too much money on my girlfriend's friends
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
How can I be more accommodating towards my girlfriend's friends? They come with us often and I end up paying for everyone's dinner. I am not being a miser, but this annoys me sometimes because I feel as if I am being taken advantage of.
You have a right to feel the way you do, because it is your money and your prerogative to spend it in a manner you think best, but why haven't you had this conversation with your girlfriend? Are you afraid of how she will react? Discussing financial stuff is what adults do, and should be able to do without worrying about the consequences. If you don't like it, tell her why.
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years now, and things are great between us. The only thing that bothers me a lot is the fact that I am always insanely jealous of anyone who gets in touch with her. I feel as if she is going to ditch me, which is irrational because we love spending time together and I know she loves me a lot. I want to stop being so insecure all the time, because it makes me seem possessive and ridiculous and this may actually push her away. I want us to have a loving, mature relationship and give her as much space as she needs, which is why I need to change my attitude quickly and be more mature about this. How can I turn into this person?
You really are the only one who can turn into the person you want to be. If you acknowledge that your behaviour is irrational, recognise that she loves you, know that being jealous will harm the relationship you have, and still continue to behave the way you do for no apparent reason, I'm not sure how anyone can help you. Try and think about how she treats you, whenever you feel as if you are about to be irrational. Use her good behaviour as a guide.
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