I think I should leave my boyfriend

Published: Nov 02, 2019, 05:32 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I just don't know if I have the patience to stay until he changes for the better, and sometimes wonder if I am wasting my time trying to fix something that may never be fixed.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI sometimes feel overwhelmed with the relationship I am in, because it is difficult on all fronts. My boyfriend is argumentative, annoying, not very caring, and sometimes insulting whenever we have a fight. At the same time, I don't want to run away because I think there is something about him that is also good and worth holding on to. I just don't know if I have the patience to stay until he changes for the better, and sometimes wonder if I am wasting my time trying to fix something that may never be fixed. Am I making the right decision or is this a hopeless cause?

I can't comment on whether it is a hopeless cause, given that you alone know your boyfriend well enough to evaluate his capacity for change. What you can do is give yourself a deadline and think about how long you are prepared to wait. There may be a lot of redeeming qualities in your boyfriend, but it sometimes makes sense to put yourself first and honestly think about what you are getting from a relationship and what you owe yourself. When you have answers to those questions, you may be in a better position to think about what you want to do next.

My wife lied about her virginity and I only found out that she wasn't one after we were married. What should I do? I feel betrayed, but she says she simply didn't have the courage to tell me the truth. I want to forgive her, but it's difficult.

We have an unhealthy fixation with virginity that often ruins our present because of something that happened in someone else's past. She is with you now, and presumably wants to spend the rest of her life with you. All you can do is think about whether you want a future with her as your wife, or whether you want an act that was committed when you were nowhere in the picture to ruin any chance of happiness.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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