I think my wife is having an affair

Published: Oct 30, 2019, 05:11 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

When my wife's grandfather-in-law passed away recently, we went to her village for some religious ceremonies, and I noticed her being very close to her uncle

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have doubts that my 32-year old wife is having an affair with her divorced 42-year old uncle. My wife's family is closely knit. Her father passed away 4 years ago, at the same time that her uncle got divorced. He began living at my wife's home to take care of his father and my mother-in-law. Last year, my wife went home during the summer vacations, and told me her uncle used to sleep in same room as her and our daughter. I told her this wasn't acceptable, and she agreed. When my wife's grandfather-in-law passed away recently, we went to her village for some religious ceremonies, and I noticed her being very close to her uncle. I accused her of cheating on me, and she started crying, saying her uncle was like a father and that I shouldn't say things like that. At the same time, her actions continued to betray a closeness towards her uncle. I still think they are having an affair, even though my mother, brother and aunt don't believe me. My wife is now with me and planning a second child. Should I continue to doubt her or just dismiss this assumption? — Harshad P

You may have all kinds of reasons for distrusting your wife, but none of them amount to solid proof of infidelity. What this implies is the presence of serious trust issues between the two of you. If you don't trust your wife, having a child isn't going to solve anything. I suggest you think about why you feel the way you do, speak to her about why you feel threatened and what she can do to mitigate that sense of betrayal, and focus on the fact that she is with you rather than with anyone else. Your accusations are serious, given that they involve a family member, which is why it makes sense to approach this logically. If you have no concrete evidence of her cheating on you, why allow an assumption to derail your marriage?

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