'I think she is with me out of pity'

Updated: 25 November, 2019 08:41 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I sometimes get the feeling that my grilfriend is with me only because she feels sorry for me though.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been dating a girl for over 5 months now. We are happy together, and I think she's great. I sometimes get the feeling that she is with me only because she feels sorry for me though. We were friends for a long time, and she knew I was single and lonely. I sometimes think she agreed to get into a relationship with me to make me feel better and will leave me when she finds someone she genuinely wants to be with. I can't talk to her about this because I'm afraid she will get upset and leave, and I would rather give her time to get to know me better and genuinely want to do this. How do I do this?
This is someone you claim to have known for a long time, and someone you refer to as a friend. If she wanted to get into a relationship with you out of pity, would she do this for 5 months of her life? Why do you think she would do this out of pity? Are there definite signs that this isn't genuine? Is there a possibility that you are overthinking this out of a misplaced sense of self-pity or insecurity? Are you being too harsh on yourself as well as her? I suggest you do nothing but focus on how this relationship is working out for you both. Give it time, acknowledge that this is someone who has spent time with you because she wants to, and respect that. If she doesn't want to be with you, she will tell you. To jump to conclusions without any specific cause is unfair to you both.

My boyfriend recently told me that he wasn't attracted to me and got into a relationship only because he couldn't find someone else. This broke my heart, but is that reason enough to end this? He says it's up to me. What should I do?
If this is a relationship of convenience for your boyfriend, don't you think you deserve better?

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First Published: 25 November, 2019 05:30 IST


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