I want to stop my jobless boyfriend from splurging

Mar 14, 2012, 07:22 IST | Diana

I am 24 and have been dating a guy from my college days.

Dear Diana,
I am 24 and have been dating a guy from my college days. I am employed but he isn't. As he is a bit confused about his career, he is taking time to decide what he wants to do next. Last week, it was my birthday and he gifted me a gold necklace. I was shocked to receive such an expensive gift. Much against my initial hesitation, I accepted it and now am burdened with guilt of letting him splurge on me, especially when he isn't financially sound. What should I do? Should I return the necklace and say that our love matters more to me than any material token? I don't wish to sound rude either. 
-- Aarma

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Aarma,
You do need to caution him as he is still not employed. But as his folks are giving him money, he may have saved to surprise you with this gift. It was your birthday, so it was okay as it is just once in a year. But stop him if he keeps on buying you stuff. Tell him that he can do all that when he starts earning, right now to go slow. You have been with him for many years so he does not need to woo you with gifts. Also, do it with tact or he will feel upset that you are not appreciating what he is doing for you. Moreover, count yourself lucky that he he is surprising you with gifts, there are many women out there whose guys don't even remember their birthdays!

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