I want to get serious, she doesn't!

Published: Jan 25, 2020, 05:10 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Whenever I ask her about where we stand in this relationship though, she laughs it off and says this is just a casual thing

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI met someone using an app and we went out a few times. We chat a lot and have even had sex. I know she likes spending time with me. Whenever I ask her about where we stand in this relationship though, she laughs it off and says this is just a casual thing. I am always confused because I don't even know if this means she is dating other people. What do I do? I can't do this casual thing forever even though I like her, but she doesn't give me any clarity.

It doesn't sound confusing because she has been quite clear about what she wants. You may think it's serious, but it can't be if she doesn't see things the same way. Maybe she likes hanging out with you, and maybe she is dating other people. You can always ask her directly, tell her why you feel the way you do, and then think about whether you are comfortable with the arrangement. If you aren't, there is no reason for you to continue seeing her.

My last relationship ended horribly because my girlfriend was manipulative and lied about a lot of things. I think it affected me in all kinds of ways, because I am not as trusting as I used to be. I recently met someone new and we began going out. I like her a lot, but am afraid to commit to something because of the shadow of my ex. I want to tell this new girl everything but am afraid I will frighten her away by saying I have trust issues. Should I stop seeing her?

You don't have to stop seeing someone because you pre-empt the future based on an unhappy past. It may take a while for you to put your ex out of your mind, which is normal. It also makes sense to continue spending time with your new friend, because it will help you move on a lot faster. Don't be afraid to take a leap of faith.

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