I want to stop being an extra possessive partner

Updated: 25 November, 2018 08:09 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

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Dr. LoveHow can I convince my neighbour that I have genuine feelings for her without freaking her out?
I suppose you will have to take this one step at a time and allow her to get to know you better before telling her how you feel. How she feels about you also makes a difference, along with how long you have known her, and what the history of your interactions has been like.

I am a 25-year old guy and have been dating a 23-year old girl for the past two years. Things are going great, except for the fact that I think I am an incredibly jealous person. I don't like it when she chats with any other guy, even if it's a work colleague. I know this is wrong, and she has told me often that I come across as extremely possessive, but I can't seem to stop it. It makes me cruel at times, and we end up fighting because I put my foot down and insist that she stop speaking to someone. She says it makes her feel as if I own her, which is not the impression I want to create at all, but nothing I do or tell myself makes it stop. How do I change this and become a less possessive boyfriend?
You're 25 and are still looking for a way to avoid taking responsibility for your actions and behaviour. You know you're wrong and admit to being cruel, jealous and possessive. You say you don't want your girlfriend to feel as if you own her. And yet, despite this awareness, you continue to do this because you claim to have no control over yourself? It is, unfortunately, not an excuse. You will simply have to try harder, or speak to a counsellor if necessary, to try and change. Evaluate your actions, isolate your feelings, look at this from a rational perspective, and fix it. The onus lies on you alone, if you want this relationship to thrive rather than wither.

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First Published: 24 November, 2018 11:36 IST


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