So, the BCCI called me. Yeah, me. What's BCCI, you're asking?
Illustration/ Uday Mohite
So, the BCCI called me. Yeah, me. What's BCCI, you're asking?
No, no, not that BCCI: Brothers Clearing Cash Inventory, which is the saga of Mukeshbhai preventing his brother Anil from going to jail on the Ericsson dues. And no, not the other BCCI: Businessmen Caught Cargoed to India, the story of fugitive Nirav Modi. This is the original BCCI: Board of Cricket Control of India. They called me.
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The spokesperson said, "Navroz Mubarak, Rahul dikra. This is Diana Edulji. We have a request. Okay, sorry, demand. We got a phone call. We have to add some teams to the IPL this year."
"Uh, but madam, the IPL began last night, and aren't eight teams already competing?" I answered, perplexed.
"No, this is not Indian Premier League. We're not talking about cricket. There is a parallel tournament that will take place, beginning April 11 and ending on May 23. It is named Indian Poll Lok (Sabha). IPL(S), in short."
"Oh. So, what help do you need from me?" I enquired.
"You have to create six teams. You have to find us great superstars to compete in this league. You have to select foreign players, too. Samajyo ke? And then, you have to name these teams. Chalo chalo, what are you waiting for?"
So, dear readers, I got down to serious work. I took the help of a five-man committee, and held complex and detailed auctions, bought and sold players, and finally came up successful. This spectacular event, bigger than IPL, bigger than the World Cup, will be played once every five years. Here are some of the teams in the new Indian Poll Lok (Sabha)
tournament.
Team 1 — Cavalier Chowkidars:
Salient features of this team is that all players will have 'Chowkidar' added before their name. For example, Chowkidar Cheteshwar Pujara. Or, Chowkidar Gautam Gambhir. The foreign player in this team, Donald Trump, will also be named accordingly, Chowkidar Donald Trump.
Team 2 — Super King Cyclewallas:
This is a team that emanates out of Uttar Pradesh. But includes superstars from the entire Hindi belt, including Akhilesh Yadav and his papa, Nitish Kumar, Laloo Prasad Yadav, etc. The players bat, bowl and field on cycles. And wear red caps.
Team 3 — Brexit Bengal Tigresses:
This is a ladies team, a real coalition. The key players are Mamata Banerjee (captain), Mayawati (vice-captain), Uma Bharati, Priyanka Gandhi, Smriti Irani, Rabri Devi and Vasundhara Raje Scindia. The coach is Sonia Gandhi and the key foreign recruit is Theresa May.
Team 4 — The NRIs (Never Reaching India):
This is a team that is united by the fact that they have all served jail time. The squad comprises Nirav Modi, Vijay Mallya, Mehul Choksi, Subrata Roy, and efforts are on to draft in Peter Mukerjea. As you can imagine, the players' outfits have black stripes.
The other teams competing are the Crusading Clockwallas and the Chhatriwalla Challengers. See you on May 23, at the finals.
Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com
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