As several corporates declare indefinite work-from-home policy, are fewer romantic relationships likely to be forged by the photocopier?
Aanchal and Ketan Yagnik, who met at Cummins India Limited in Pune, got engaged three months into dating. They were married in January this year
It was my first day of the week-long orientation programme. Ketan and I were a part of the same joining batch at Cummins India Limited in Pune. Since this wasn't my first job, the introductory session did not interest me and I dozed off. Ketan told on me, and the trainer woke me up. We exchanged a look, but it wasn't love at first sight," laughs Aanchal Yagnik, as she remembers her first meeting with husband Ketan. "We are poles apart; he is the studious, serious sort, and I am the last bencher, outspoken. But of all the people hired at the time, we were the only ones to end up working in the same location. So we only had each other to talk to. Work discussions over lunch soon moved to more intimate conversations," adds the 29-year-old Delhi resident. Before she knew it, Ketan had suggested they marry. "Within three months of dating, we got engaged in July 2019 and were married by January 2020. It was meant to be," thinks Ketan, 30.
Siddhi Yadav and Denzil Machado, who met at advertising firm McCann, on the other hand, took three good years to realise they were in love. While Siddhi, 35, joined as an intern in 2005, Denzil, 43, was the creative team leader. "We connected because of our common love for art direction. I used to look up to him. Since I was learning to become a better illustrator, I would frequent the scanning machine—that was our favourite hangout spot," Siddhi smiles. But Denzil says he noticed her way before she did. "We were in different teams. She worked under my friend, whose open cubicle was close to mine. She was so tall; she wore high heels, it was hard to not notice."
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Denzil proposed to Siddhi after a work trip to Goa. They got married in 2013 after dating for five years
For a really long time, he was apprehensive about forging an alliance due to religious differences. "I think it was an office trip to Goa that sealed our fate. Because of her designation, she was sent by train, and I took a flight. When we reached, I told her to sit next to me on the bus to stay safe from all the drunk colleagues. She agreed," Denzil recalls.
A global work culture, longer hours in close proximity, a more open and intense work environment have helped romance blossom in the office. A 2016 study conducted by the Indian School of Business Hyderabad revealed that office romances are discouraged in most Western countries; however, there seems to be no evidence of this in India. The study mentioned that there was a perception that many companies encourage this trend as it accrues benefits to the organisation through reduced attrition, higher employee engagement, satisfied and happy employees, greater feeling of citizenship towards the firm, and willingness to work longer hours. "Referral programmes have become very common where companies have been welcoming spouses," it added. But as most of India's urban workforce now adapts to working from home, Zoom and Skype are the new meeting ground to check in employees. Could the Coronavirus pandemic be the nail in the coffin for office romances?
Benson Danthy and Natasha Mendonca say it’s their colleagues who played cupid
Not for those who are already dating, thinks Natasha Mendonca, 23, and Benson Danthy, 26. The couple met when Natasha joined a Mumbai-based brand solutions company in February 2019. Benson had been an employee for over two years. "She was put on the same account that I was handling the digital section for. That is how she got an excuse to talk to me," Benson teases. "I live in Kandivli; he, in Mira Road. At least I live in Mumbai, but he technically commutes from Thane," Natasha quips. Their banter continues. "Our company has about 80 to 90 per cent female staff, so the men have a lot of options. I don't know how he was still single when I joined."
Their colleagues played cupid. "My side of the team told me he is cute and that I should give him a chance. They would make me invite him to sit with us during lunch or nudge me to talk to him. Even my boss was a part of the plan."
Last year, during Christmas, Benson left a note on her desk. "It said, 'You are the Santa to my Christmas'. Later we went for dinner, and he proposed. I said, yes," Natasha recalls, adding they have continued dating even during the lockdown. "We find ways to keep in touch. We play online games, discuss work and our personal lives, and are in this for the long haul. I have been unsure about office romances in the past. But Natasha is mature; even if this doesn't work out and things get awkward, it won't affect our work."
Judging past research on office romance culture, more than half of the workforce said they have engaged in an office romance in 2019, according to a study by jobs website Vault. The survey, which involved more than 700 participants, found that about 42 per cent of respondents were never involved in an office romance, but that doesn't stop others. The fear of getting caught and the potential of a break-up that could lead to a messy situation afterward emerged as reasons to stay away.
Vaidehi Chilwarwar, clinical psychologist
Vaidehi Chilwarwar, clinical psychologist, says a relationship motivates a person to perform better at work. "It encourages you to go to work every day and create a good impression on your partner. In my personal experience, my relationship has only helped me enhance my skills at the workplace. But if a couple feels that their relationship is coming in the way of their performance, then it is important to ask where this is stemming from. I suggest that couples who have met in an office setup think future possibilities through before jumping in head first. Only if your love makes you want to grow in your career, should you go ahead with it."
India's workforce has the longest working hours in the world (52 hours per week, according to a 2016 ManpowerGroup survey), and there are several studies to show that "repeated exposure" is a key trigger for love. At least that was the case with Poornima, 49, and Janak Toprani, 59. "We met in 1993 when I was heading the video tech department at Mudra Group. She was a trainee, and was literally the only one who got my jokes," says Janak, Poornima agrees. "It was definitely the humour that brought us together. I used to travel from IIT Powai to South Mumbai, where the office was located, and would be the first person to reach work, and the last to leave office. I worked so hard. I think it was the brewing romance with Janak that motivated me to deliver my best."
Despite a 10-year age gap and the fact that Janak was a senior in the office hierarchy, their love stayed strong. "There were a few who were critical. They thought Janak would favour me because I was his girlfriend. In fact, he was stricter with me, and that made me perform better," Poornima adds. The couple has been married for 26 years and runs a film production house together.
Poornima and Janak Toprani met in 1993 at Mudra. They have been married for 26 years and run a film production house together
Would she have preferred meeting Janak outside of work, organically in a social setting? "Not really, Meeting someone at work gives you the chance to know their personality, working style, how they handle a tough situation, their behaviour with colleagues, ability to withstand pressure. It definitely helped me take a call."
Siddhi had it slightly tougher. "When a few of our colleagues found that Denzil, who was my boss at the time, and I were dating, they did not take it well. But, at the end of the day, no matter how many things go in your favour, if you have no talent, you won't be an achiever. Denzil left McCann in 2014, while I continued to work there and found my way up the ladder."
Does the couple think the change in work practices may put a permanent stop to gossiping in the pantry, evening chai sessions and grabbing a post-work drink? Janak says, "If we are looking at the possible death of the office romance, it's a shame."
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