Is my girlfriend serious about me?

Published: 28 November, 2019 05:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have tried broaching the topic of taking this to the next level, but she doesn't take it seriously and keeps asking me to relax

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy girlfriend and I have been together for over five years. We get along, like spending time with each other, and have shown no signs of being bored. I am starting to wonder where this is going though, because we never think of the future. I have tried broaching the topic of taking this to the next level, but she doesn't take it seriously and keeps asking me to relax. I am relaxed, but I also don't want to be in a relationship that doesn't have a future, because I won't know what to do if she suddenly changes her mind and ends this. I need security, but she doesn't seem to get it. How do I get her to take this seriously? If she can't commit to a long-term relationship, should I just end it now?

Why do you feel the need to end something that isn't broken just because your girlfriend doesn't want to address your concerns at this point? Has she spoken about why she isn't ready just yet? Can the two of you arrive at a decision about when a conversation about this is possible? Maybe she just needs more time to figure things out because she isn't as insecure about the future as you are. If you think she will never consider taking the next step, talk about a tentative time frame that works for you both. Don't give up on something just because you are both at a different stage of this relationship. Talk about how you
feel and try coming up with a compromise. If that doesn't work, and she refuses to consider it, you can then say you tried everything before giving up.

I don't want to marry someone I have only known for three months, but my parents think it's enough and want me to settle down. How do I get them to give me space?

You are under no obligation to marry anyone you aren't comfortable with. Your parents can suggest it, but it is still your decision.

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