'It's just harmless flirting -- should I stop?'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Q. I'm 22 and flirt all the time. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, because even though I think it's harmless, my friends think it isn't. I just think I'm friendly and don't see why I should stop. Should I?
A: There are a number of reasons why some people flirt and others don't. A lot of people simply don't know how to (most men from North India, for example). If you feel a compulsive need to flirt all the time, you have to consider the possibility that you may be sending out the wrong message to some people whether you want to or not. This can be embarrassing at best, but may cause some serious damage as well. Being warm and friendly is great, but you need to draw your own lines when it comes to flirting. Not everyone may think of it as harmless. Talk to your friends too, and figure out what it is about your flirting that really bothers them.
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up three months ago, but we still have sex sometimes. I don't love her though. Should we stop?
A. Is she aware of the fact that you don't love her? Is she comfortable with this relationship being the way it is? Sex is more than just physical intimacy. It's also about connecting with someone emotionally. Your ex-girlfriend and you may both claim to be unemotionally involved, but that will be hard to manage after a point. If either of you finds someone else, there will be a few emotional issues for one of you to sort out. It's obviously easy to continue having sex with someone you have already been in a physical relationship with, but it's not an ideal situation in the long run because there will be unforeseen complications. You should both talk about this, discuss all possibilities and then take a call together on whether this really is the kind of relationship you both want to be a part of.