'It takes two to build a good relationship'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Q. What does a good relationship need?
A: It needs two people, to begin with, unless you are a politician, because politicians believe they are the only people they need to make happy. Trust is that other big thing, because it is the foundation on which a relationship is built, and something you can both fall back on during tough times. To not trust your partner is to risk losing faith in what you both want to achieve as a couple. Communication is another big factor. Without the skills of mind reading, no one else can tell your partner how you’re feeling, or vice versa. Talk about everything under the sun, especially about how you feel, and encourage your partner to do the same. If that happens regularly, you really have no reason to doubt that yours is a great relationship.
Q. I don’t want to get into a relationship with someone who isn’t active on social media. I believe being active online is a sign of engaging with the world. Is this normal or am I being ridiculous?
A: You’re being ridiculous. Log off and take a long walk.
Q. What is intimacy and why is it so important?
A: Intimacy, contrary to popular belief, has very little to do with you sitting around without your clothes on. It is about a sense of closeness and attachment, of familiarity and mutual affection. Now that I’m done listing synonyms, let me try and draw of picture of what true intimacy is. Imagine two people sitting in a room, one watching television and the other reading a book, looking up simultaneously and smiling. No words are spoken, but an entire gamut of feelings has been exchanged. This sort of thing doesn’t come easily but, when it does, you won’t want to exchange it for the world. That’s when you will also figure out why it’s so important. To be intimate with someone is to be truly human, to embrace another person into your life wholeheartedly and give of yourself in exchange.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to firstname.lastname@example.org