Just can't stand his stinginess!

Updated: 13 November, 2020 06:14 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He does everything he can to avoid paying for something if he can get me to pay instead

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI am a 28-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a guy who is 3 years older. We have been together for a little over two years now, and I think we have a future together except for two things about him that bother me a lot. First, his extreme stinginess. He does everything he can to avoid paying for something if he can get me to pay instead. The second is his inability to commit to taking this forward. I know he loves me a lot, but these two issues cause me a lot of anxiety. How can I resolve them?

The first is easier to manage, because it is a character trait that can change through dialogue. He obviously thinks about money more than he should and needs to understand why you resent having to pay. If he believes your money is dispensable while his savings are not, he needs to be called out on that behaviour. Insist on splitting everything if you have to. The second will take more time to resolve, because it seems as if you are both at different places in this relationship. There will have to be more conversations about this, and a give and take, until he gets where you are coming from. If he continues to shy away from commitment, you will have to take a call on how long you think you can hold out for an answer.

My boyfriend keeps telling me about a crush he once had on a classmate, and I don’t know if he does this just to make me jealous, or to make me feel as if I was his second choice. What should I tell him?

Why not ask him what he wants you to do with this information, and suggest that he try getting into a relationship with that person if he isn’t happy with you? Jealousy is normal, but to bring this up all the time is either insecurity or a sign of pettiness. Talk about it.

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First Published: 13 November, 2020 06:11 IST

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