'Language is coming in the way of our romance'

Updated: May 25, 2020, 07:17 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

While she understands my language, she feels a bit awkward and using Bengali to communicate during romance is a big turn off. Switching to English hasn't served the purpose either

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 28-year old Bengali guy and have been dating an Odia girl who is 32. While she understands my language, she feels a bit awkward and using Bengali to communicate during romance is a big turn off. Switching to English hasn't served the purpose either. According to her, my English is way too professional because I haven't conversed with anyone in a non-professional context. She says I am unable to express my love properly in English. What should I do?
— Anish M
If the two of you are clear about how you feel for each other, the question of language shouldn't be as important as it currently is. I'm sure the challenge is real, of course, and understand how important communication is, so it's not as if her comments aren't valid. What I suggest you do is write to her instead, in a language you feel most comfortable with. Try and express how you feel, tell her why you stumble when it comes to expressing yourself, and ask her to respond in a language that best expresses how she feels too. I hope the two of you will arrive at a place where the feelings are clear after some time, even if the language used to express them may not.

I dated a guy for about 2 years and broke up with him about 2 years ago. I still love him but am scared he might hurt me again. What should I do?
— DW
Two years is a long time to hold on to feelings for someone who may or may not have moved on. Why not try reaching out to him and meet a few times to gauge how he feels or, more importantly, if he has changed the way he feels about you? If he isn't interested, or is with someone else, this may no longer be something you have to worry about because you may simply have to come to terms with his decision.

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