Men are in dire need of external relationship counseling

Published: Feb 12, 2009, 15:29 IST | Valentines Day Special |

Men need external relationship counseling

Men are in dire need of external relationship counseling - Say women we spoke to. They were more than glad to offer tips:

Perizaad Zorabian Irani, Actor

Express yourself
Men aren't vocal about their love or appreciation, and often, that's all a woman really needs. If they were just a little more expressive, and indulged in commenting on even the most obvious stuff, it would go a long way in making a relationship work.

Naheed Divecha 36, Sports enthusiast and homemaker

Offer unconditional support
Never take a girl for granted. Make sure you show her how you feel through little things you do, and that doesn't have to mean buying her expensive gifts. Let her know she has your support, no matter what choices she makes.

Gytri Narang, 30, Jewellery-designer

Give her space
Women enjoy being pampered, and fussed over. While they love being the centre of attention, they also need their share of space. The trick is to find the right balance.

Listen to her
Listen! That's all a woman needs; someone who will listen to what she has to say about how she feels.

Amrita Arora, Actor

Be interested in her life
Men need to be honest and faithful. And it would make a woman feel very special and wanted, if he took an interest in whatever was going on in her life.

Who should you turn to?

Turn to your sister when -

you need help with what to wear on a date, or what to gift your partner.

But not when - you need help with a household-related problem like whether to hire a full-time maid or a part-time cook. And definitely not when you need to complain about your girlfriend, especially if you are hoping this relationship turns into something long-term.

Why? If this woman is the one you tie the knot with, the last thing you want is to have your family view her in a light defined by something you said in a fleeting moment of rage.

Turn to your BUDDY when -

you need to blow off steam or complain about the in-laws.

But not when-you need real advice on anything that actually matters. Do not ask friends how to go about scoring points with your girl, and never draw them in to resolve a fight between the two of you.

Why? Men tend to generalise relationship-problems based on what they have seen in movies or read in a trashy novel. In the real world, issues need to be tackled with maturity.

Turn to an Agony Aunt when -

you need relationship advice but also have issues with opening up to people, or if you need information on basic, health-related issues. Make sure the expert has appropriate qualifications. You can do this by addressing a query to the editor of the publication.

But not when-you feel are so caught up in a problem that it pushes you into depression. When faced with serious issues like violence and abuse, seek guidance from a professional, trained psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Why? When a relationship problem starts affecting you enough to literally lose sleep over it, you might need private therapy.

Turn to a female friend when -

you need to bare your soul or need guidelines on how to meet your partner's emotional needs.

But not when-the issue is one that your partner would prefer to keep between the two of you.

Why? If it were to ever emerge that you shared details of a private and sensitive issue with an outsider, especially with another woman, your partner will not be particularly forgiving.

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