'Men have sex on their mind, all the time'

May 28, 2016, 07:18 IST | Dr. Love

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. I think about sex all the time. Is this normal?
A. Men allegedly think about it all the time and have since the first man crawled out of the primal ooze and saw the first woman walk past. The sexual urge is a primal one that is responsible for preventing mankind from becoming extinct. Whether that is a good or bad thing, however, is a whole other discussion.

Q. Is 'going out' the same as dating?
A. If this refers to 'going outside' with someone, it usually just means you're 'going outside' with someone. If, on the other hand, you refer to going outside with someone you have feelings for, on a regular basis, and those feelings of interest are reciprocated, it probably is a kind of dating. The idea of 'going out' comes primarily from American television, which also gives us the notion of 'hanging out'. The latter is not to be confused with dating, because it implies simply spending time with someone you like, doing things you both like doing together. It's complicated, of course, but matters of the heart usually are.

Q.Am I too young to fall in love? Is it the same as lust?

A. You're never too young to fall in love, although the kind of love you have for another person evolves constantly and will change as you age. As for lust, it's fairly easily to differentiate between the two. Love is about wanting to spend more time with someone without the need for sex, while lust is the exact opposite and prefers sex to any kind of non-sexual conversation. Love makes you want to be a better person, while lust compels you to be selfish and leave the minute you get the physical satisfaction you crave. Love is about feelings and discussing them, while lust is about keeping your relationship at a level of fantasy without ever discussing how you really feel. Again, the idea of lust changes and evolves as you age. It's part of growing up.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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