Movie review: The Expendables 2
If you're a guy who loves 80s action cinema, you'll like The Expendables 2. If you're a woman who liked beefy 80s muscles, then this film will make you stop your grinnin' and drop your linen.
The Expendables 2
Dir: Simon West
Cast: Sly Stallone, Jason Statham, Jean Clause Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis
With a star cast of the hammiest ham hocks ever put together on screen, The Expendables 2 is how The Avengers would be if it were made in the 80s. From delivering some of the worst ever written lines to flexing every inch of botox laced muscle on their bodies, the heroes of this film make your face meet your palm in the grandest possible manner.
You get Sly Stallone, who looks like a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong; you get Jason Statham who practically hurts his face trying to keep it straight the whole time; you get Dolph Lundrgen who has now truly transformed into the Universal Soldier; Terry Crews, Jet Li and Randy Couture all of whom behave like they are stuck in a party full of drunk old timers.
Joining in the fun is the ‘villain’, Mister Jean Claude Van Damme, complete with his awesome roundhouse kick, and the duo of Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger who have extended roles in this sequel. Without spoiling too much, it is safe to say that Chuck Norris makes the single most entertaining. It’s rather difficult to remember what the ‘story’ is.
In a revolutionary leap in storytelling, this time, it becomes personal for Barney, and he is faced with the task to overcome all odds for vengeance. There’s plenty of ludicrous action, though placed between several boring over-serious meandering conversations. Watch The Expendables 2, eat Chili and spit it like a boss, and then fuggetaboutit.