'My boyfriend acts like he is my father'

Updated: Jun 08, 2020, 07:08 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know this doesn't make sense, but whenever I post photographs of myself in a short dress on Facebook, for example, he freaks out and tells me to delete them

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have a boyfriend who is around two years older than I am, and this sometimes comes across as if he doesn't understand my generation at all. I know this doesn't make sense, but whenever I post photographs of myself in a short dress on Facebook, for example, he freaks out and tells me to delete them. This happens all the time, and I don't get it. It is the kind of behaviour I expect from my father, not my boyfriend. He sometimes feels like an older man who is paranoid about everything. I don't want or need his permission to post what I want to, and he needs to understand that. How do I get the message across?
You can continue doing what you want because, as you point out, his permission isn't required. He doesn't own you, nor does he control your social media presence. If he doesn't like it, he is the one with the problem, so let him deal with it. In time, he will get the idea and learn to accept it. If he doesn't, you may have to be more specific and tell him he is entitled to his opinion, but also that accepting or rejecting it will always be your prerogative.

Should I end my friendship with someone just because I don't like one of their friends?
That depends entirely upon how much you value this friendship, doesn't it? Also, it depends upon how their relationship with someone else is affecting your own relationship with your friend. I would suggest you try and put yourself in your friend's shoes, and spend some time trying to understand why you feel the way you do. We are all entitled to choose our friends, and this courtesy ought to be extended to others too. Try and have a conversation about your feelings and get your friend's perspective too, before making any decision.

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