'My boyfriend does not like to go out too often'

May 10, 2018, 07:00 IST | Dr Love

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Illustrations/Ravi Jadhav
Illustrations/Ravi Jadhav

I want to go out more often, but my boyfriend likes spending time indoors instead. He says it's a waste of money, but I think going out and meeting new people is a great thing. Am I wrong in forcing him to do this more?
Neither of you is wrong, because you both have valid points. The key to an effective relationship is the art of compromise, so I suggest you chat about this and figure out one.

My boyfriend hates it when I hold his hand in public and doesn't even like it when I snuggle up to him in a movie theatre or restaurant. He has no problem being very physical in private, but behaves like a child the minute there are people around. I have asked him if he is ashamed of being seen with me, even though I know he's not, but he says he just feels extremely uncomfortable with the idea because he's always afraid of someone he knows seeing him. His parents know we are together, and so do my parents, so I just don't understand his behaviour. Is there something I can do to change this about him?
He's not ashamed of being with you, as you point out, and has no problem letting his parents and friends know that the two of you are in a relationship, which probably means that he is just shy. This inability to express oneself in public, or feel as if one is being judged constantly, is more common than you think. If you are comfortable with public displays of affection and he isn't, I think it's just a question of giving him time until he is comfortable enough to express himself. After all, to hold your hand in public is, for him, still an expression. The two of you are at different places in your relationship. I suggest you try and be more understanding and wait for him to get to the same space that you are currently in.

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