My boyfriend is extremely hot-tempered

Apr 10, 2012, 09:27 IST | Dear Diana

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Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I are planning to wed soon. We’ve been together for more than five years. He is hotheaded but I think I’ll be able to manage. I grew up in a family with a very abusive father and always swore I would never be in a relationship involving a guy who’s quick to snap. But today I’m exactly in one such relationship! I sometimes worry if he’ll change under marital pressure and become more volatile than he already is. I love him very much so is my anxiety justified.
— Gausi

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Gausi,
Anger is a problem when it is not controlled. Every human being gets angry but when it controls the person, it is an issue. It can lead to severe strains in relationships as well as cause health issues like an increase in blood pressure. One way of dealing with the problem is to tell your guy to breathe the next time he wants to flare up. Or better still ask him to count one to five when he feels like hollering at someone. Instead of focusing on what makes him mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind him that anger won’t fix anything, and might only make things worse. Also, you should not react every time he gets irritable, a reaction will evoke more fire. Ignoring him is the best way to handle him during that time period. When he cools down things will be back to normal. When he realises he is getting no reaction, he will learn to cool down. 

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