My boyfriend follows many women online

Published: 14 December, 2019 05:10 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He doesn't flirt with anyone or give me any reason to doubt our relationship, but what if he leads a double life online that I know nothing about?

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI don't know if this is something I should be worried about, but I recently looked at my boyfriend's Instagram account and realised that he followed a lot of women. I don't know any of these women. Some of them are celebrities, which is okay, but some are regular women and it bothers me for some reason. He doesn't flirt with anyone or give me any reason to doubt our relationship, but what if he leads a double life online that I know nothing about? Am I just being paranoid?

If you're worried about something, it doesn't have necessarily anything to do with paranoia as much as it does with insecurities about your relationship. This can be remedied by you simply talking about it though. If you don't like him following women on Instagram, why not ask him why he does it, and allow him to explain? You may follow a lot of men too, which may or may not bother him. Insecurities need to be addressed and can be dealt with only by discussing them openly. Don't allow this to fester, because that is what not addressing it may lead to. Tell him how you feel and try to understand why this bothers you as much as it does. Also think about the fact that double lives may sound exciting but are always hard to manage for those living them.

My ex-boyfriend has stuff that belongs to me and I want it back. We split up with harsh words though, and I swore I would never see his face again. How do I get my stuff back without embarrassing myself? He should just send it to me, but I know he won't just to see me squirm. How do I solve this without losing face?

Isn't there anyone else who can reach out to him on your behalf? A close common friend? If these are things that belong to you, and things you need, why let a potential loss of face prevent you from getting them back?

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