'My boyfriend has a caste bias'

Published: Jun 05, 2019, 08:19 IST | Dr Love

I had no idea he cared about such things because he has never said something like this, and I have begun questioning if everything he has told me has been an act for my benefit.

'My boyfriend has a caste bias'
Dr Love

Dr LoveI have been dating someone for a few months and was recently shocked when he made an extremely insensitive comment about someone's caste. I had no idea he cared about such things because he has never said something like this, and I have begun questioning if everything he has told me has been an act for my benefit. I have been so angry that I have wanted to leave him. I don't know if my anger is justified and if I should give him a chance to explain, because he doesn't seem even remotely repentant despite knowing how I feel about this issue. How do I deal with this?
It takes a while for people in any relationship to get to know each other, which is why spending time together is always a good idea. It's hard to comment on whether your boyfriend has been lying to you all this time, because his prejudice may simply have been revealed by a situation that has never cropped up before. If you are offended, you should mention it, and inform him of why his comment is insensitive. He deserves to know how you feel and owes you an explanation. If what he says doesn't seem adequate or genuine, you can decide what to do next. Alternatively, you can try and educate him if he expresses a willingness to change.

My friends tell me I give off no sexual vibes whatsoever, which is supposedly a bad thing. They say I come across as asexual, which puts people off. I am not doing anything on purpose though, so I am not sure how to deal with this.
Human beings react to specific things in other human beings, and your friends not picking up vibes from you may have a lot to do with the simple fact that you are not sexually attracted by them. Stop worrying about this and be yourself. Let your hormones take over when they have to.

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