'My boyfriend has mental health issues'

Updated: 26 November, 2019 08:21 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I was aware of this even before we got into this relationship but agreed to it anyway because we both loved each other a lot.

Illustrations/Uday Mohite
Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy boyfriend has serious mental issues and has been in therapy for a number of years now. I was aware of this even before we got into this relationship but agreed to it anyway because we both loved each other a lot. It's becoming hard to manage now though, because his spells of depression and anxiety are starting to take a toll on me as well. I have stayed with him for as long as I could but am seriously considering ending this for my own well-being. I don't want to come across as a heartless person and am afraid of the effect this may have on his already fragile health. I am torn and can't figure out what to do. Meanwhile, our relationship is only getting worse. I have to arrive at a decision soon. Please help.
A relationship is about two people wanting to be together because it is good for them both. Being together through thick and thin is often used as a measure of what a successful bond is, but you have to take your well-being seriously and put yourself first. Your boyfriend has been in therapy and will probably continue it for years. You have the option of considering therapy too, with him or individually, and have a professional evaluate the toll this is taking on you. It is important to recognise, however, that being in a relationship that makes you unhappy is unfair to you both. Being with someone because you're afraid of the consequences of not being with them is not reason enough, because it means sacrificing yourself. This will only lead to resentment and more unhappiness at some point. I suggest you speak to a professional as soon as possible and figure out how you can speak to your boyfriend about the consequences of continuing to be together.

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First Published: 26 November, 2019 05:19 IST

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