'My boyfriend insists that I need to lose weight'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend wants me to lose weight, but I think I’m fine. Should I listen to him?
It’s your body, not his. If you’re happy with the way you are, why should anyone persuade you to think otherwise?
My brother has a huge problem with my boyfriend. He says I am obsessed with him and blind to his faults, and wants me to break up with him because he thinks he is a bad influence on me. I think he is just doing this because he believes he has to protect me and his protection is not justified. I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions. I have a successful career, earn enough money to support myself, and fail to understand why I need to listen to my brother just because my parents believe I should trust his judgment. If this were the other way round, and I were to tell him to spit up with his girlfriend, I don’t know if he would even take me seriously. What should I do? I don’t want to listen to him and want him to stop interfering with my life.
Your brother has a misplaced sense of superiority that comes from your parents believing you aren’t capable of taking care of yourself. You sound like you know what you’re doing though and, even if your boyfriend is the most horrible person on Earth, you have a right to find that out for yourself, because life is about learning from our mistakes and figuring things out as we go along. This is hypocritical if, as you say, your brother doesn’t extend the same courtesy towards you that he expects you to give him. I suggest you listen to him and tell him you intend to consider his advice, while pointing out that you’re an adult capable of making your own decisions. If he doesn’t get that, you are under no obligation to fill him in on the details of your personal life.
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