My boyfriend is irritatingly insecure

Updated: May 08, 2020, 04:32 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have to watch what I say and never start a fight because he starts to panic and then I have to mother him

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picMy boyfriend is constantly insecure about our relationship, and it puts me off. I used to reassure him at the start, and he would calm down, but we have been together for six months now and he still feels as if I am ready to break things off at the slightest argument. I have to watch what I say and never start a fight because he starts to panic and then I have to mother him. It is exhausting and I want him to behave like an adult. How do I do this?

Try and address the root of this insecurity. Is it his past? Did something happen to make him feel this way about you alone? It does sound frustrating, because a partner who isn’t on the same page will always make you work harder on a relationship than you need to, but you should evaluate what you are prepared to do and how badly you want this to succeed. If it isn’t worth the effort, you can stop. If it is, tell him to start pulling his weight or risk losing you. It sounds as if he wants you in his life, which means he should do more.

I had an affair with a friend while dating my boyfriend. We ended it after a few months, and I told my boyfriend about this. He was angry, obviously, and we thought about separating, but he ultimately decided to forgive me, so we are still together. Over the past month or so, however, I keep thinking about the guy I had an affair with and think I am beginning to have feelings for him. My boyfriend won’t forgive me this time, but I still feel as if I should be honest with him. Is this the right decision?

It is if you are considering cheating on him again. Maybe you should try and figure out where you stand, and what this means for all three of you, because you are currently lying to them as well as yourself.

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