My boyfriend is very controlling

Updated: Jan 09, 2020, 08:00 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI was not happy with my current relationship as I was restricted by my boyfriend's mentality. We come from different religious backgrounds, and I think this had an influence on him. For example, I was not allowed to wear the clothes I liked and be myself, because he said this wasn't allowed by his religion. I cheated on him by spending time with a foreigner. We visited Europe and I got to wear whatever I liked. I was a free bird and thought I was punishing my boyfriend by doing this. He found out though, and explained that what I was doing was wrong. He wanted me to come back. I realised my mistake and stopped doing it but am not ready to go back to him because of his restrictions on me. If I refuse anything he asks, he brings up my past mistakes and makes me feel guilty and sad. I am always sad when I am with him. I like him and care for him, but don't love him anymore because of this. I really need your help to decide if I can marry him and be happy. I am not interested in any man right now and would prefer to stay alone in peace.
— Ganga B
I'm not entirely sure what the problem is here. If you are unhappy, feel as if you are restricted from being who you are, and have no interest in anyone, where does the question of marriage come into the picture? You seem to be very clear about what you like, and what your preferences are. If your boyfriend doesn't respect you enough to allow you to do the things you like doing, or even wearing what you feel like, why do you feel a need to marry him? It's perfectly okay to like someone and care about them, but marriage is another issue. It involves a partnership between equals and is meant to last a lifetime. If you can't be happy with him now, how will that change?

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