My boyfriend makes me feel inferior...

Published: 21 March, 2020 06:23 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He is a nice person, and also genuinely kind and caring, which is also why I feel inferior all the time

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI keep struggling with the idea that I am not good enough to be with my current boyfriend, because he gives me that impression. He doesn't say anything directly, but I get that feeling because of his snide comments every once in a while. He means well, so I don't confront him about them. He is a nice person, and also genuinely kind and caring, which is also why I feel inferior all the time. I want to stop feeling this way but can't. How do I change this about myself?

If he is genuinely kind and caring, he wouldn't make snide comments about you, would he? If you intend to compare yourself with other people, who you compare yourself too also makes a difference. You can't please your boyfriend by trying to be someone you're not. If he thinks you don't measure up to his expectations, he is free to end this and move on. The fact that he hasn't means he sees something in you that you don't. To be self-critical is counter-productive if you're only trying to meet someone else's expectations. Try and be happy with who you are. It's hard to do, but it can be life-changing when it comes to how you manage your relationships with other people.

My girlfriend lies blatantly all the time, even when she and I both know it's obvious that she is lying. This used to be amusing at the start, but it is now serious because I don't even believe her when she is telling the truth. It has got to a stage where I don't think I can even trust her anymore. Should I end this relationship if she refuses to change?

No relationship can survive without trust, and the two of you should acknowledge this. If she recognises the risks and understands how her behaviour has led to this scenario, she may make an attempt to change. If she doesn't, you may have no choice but to move on.

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