My boyfriend won't talk about marriage

Published: 13 November, 2019 06:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

For me, marriage is a sacred bond, something that is legally binding as well as important for my emotional well-being

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I are very close but can't communicate when it comes to marriage. I would like some sort of security, but he feels strongly against it. If it were up to him, he would want us to just live together all our lives, but my parents will never be okay with that and neither will I. For me, marriage is a sacred bond, something that is legally binding as well as important for my emotional well-being. Should I end this?

Ending this may be premature, unless you believe you aren't in love with him enough to commit. He may not share your beliefs, or your need to marry, but the two of you should talk about the possibility of a compromise before writing this off entirely. Is he open to changing his mind at some point? Is he willing to give you up to stand for his beliefs? Does he understand why this is important to you? I suggest you talk about these things and gauge how he feels before making a decision.

My girlfriend just moved to another city for a six-month assignment and has not been chatting with me as much as she used to. We have been together for a long time, but I am starting to worry because I don't know if she has met someone else. She says she hasn't, but I have no way of knowing. Should I go to that city to meet her?

On the one hand, you say the two of you have been together for a long time. On the other, a few months apart has already created a wedge for no discernible reason. Has she ever given you cause to doubt her feelings for you? If she hasn't, can it be that getting used to life in another city is responsible for this erratic communication? If going to visit her will ease your mind, do it. Do remember that strong relationships are built on trust, and ask yourself if you are over-thinking this.

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