My boyfriend's ego is bigger than us

Updated: Mar 25, 2020, 04:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He has begun paying me back now, but this has created some tension between us because he feels as if he is obligated to him

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI wanted to help my boyfriend because he was fired from his job and desperately needed help paying the rent. I loaned him some money, and this continued for a few months because it took him some time to find a new job. He has begun paying me back now, but this has created some tension between us because he feels as if he is obligated to him. I have never said or done anything to make him feel this way, so it has been confusing for me. I don't see it that way at all because I genuinely wanted to help him. We help people we love, but he doesn't get this because his ego is getting in the way. How do I get him to see things from my perspective? I am trying to put this behind us, but until he pays off the money, he is going to behave badly.

Financial issues are often the root cause of problems in most relationships, because nothing can drive a wedge between two people the way money can. Your intentions were good, and your boyfriend probably recognises that too, but is struggling to deal with resentment or some feelings of insecurity. The only way to nip this in the bud is to tell him that his behaviour is hurting you. Talk about your feelings, ask him why he feels the way he does, and explain why you did what you did. To allow tris to fester may lead to other issues down the line.

I have a huge crush on a colleague and am embarrassed because I start to blush whenever she is in the same room. I am worried that other people will notice this. How do I stop it?

All you can do is try and get to know this person better. If you ask her out and she refuses, you will know that she isn't interested and start to control your feelings better. If she agrees, you may not have to be embarrassed around her anymore.

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