My crush already has a boyfriend...

Published: Nov 30, 2019, 05:05 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know she has a boyfriend but would still like to ask her out

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have had a crush on someone at work for a while now, and she knows about this because a few of our colleagues have mentioned it to her. She doesn't say anything about it and hasn't reached out to me to talk about it. I know she has a boyfriend but would still like to ask her out. Is this wrong? Will she be upset? I'm not sure what to do. I really like her a lot, so I would like to give it a shot.

I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish by asking her out. You say she is aware of your feelings for her, and she happens to be in a relationship. Is there any reason why you think she should go out with you? If she wanted to discuss this, wouldn't she simply talk about it by now? You can always ask her out for a cup of coffee, obviously, because there's nothing wrong with asking. Do keep in mind, however, that rejecting your offer is her prerogative and you may simply have to make your peace with that too.

A guy I met on a dating app a month ago has been coming on too strong lately. We only went out once, but he has been making all kinds of sexual innuendos and assumes I will sleep with him by the end of our second date. I am not comfortable with this at all. I don't think I should even go out with him again, but my friends say he seems harmless and I should give him another chance. Should I?

Your friends aren't the ones on this date; you are. If you are not comfortable meeting someone, you shouldn't. Someone who doesn't understand boundaries and thinks it is okay to send you sexual innuendos isn't exactly harmless, because that betrays a lack of respect for you as a person. Whether your friends think he deserves a second chance is irrelevant. Go with your instinct and focus on how you feel.

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