My crush wants to go back to her ex
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
A girl I like a lot recently broke up with her boyfriend. We began meeting a lot after that and managed to grow quite close. She now thinks of me as a good friend. I was thinking of telling her how I feel, until she told me she was considering getting back to her boyfriend. Apparently, he has apologised and asked for another chance. I don't know if I should be a friend and tell her to give him that chance or be ruthless and tell her to ditch him so I can ask her to consider being with me instead. What should I do?
The best thing would be to tell her the truth. If you ask her not to give her boyfriend a chance, especially if she wants to, you are not being an honest friend. If you want her to consider a relationship, it is important that she recognises that you have her best interests at heart above everything else. All you can do is tell her how you feel and allow her to make up her own mind. That seems like the best approach.
My husband spends much of his salary on religious causes, which was okay when we were just married, but which now bothers me because we are planning to start a family. He says I am being unreasonable when I ask him to be more judicious with money. I don't resent the spiritual stuff, but also think he is the one being unreasonable given that we have other expenses. How do I get him to see my point of view?
Financial matters need to be discussed with tact, but decisions regarding your family need to be made as equal partners, because this is money that belongs to you both even if it is his salary you are referring to. You have a right to ask him to evaluate his expenses, and he needs to arrive at some sort of a compromise. Lay down your reasons and ask him to justify his own.
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