My ex made our private chats public
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I broke up with a guy after dating him for three years. It was a messy break-up and we said a lot of nasty things to each other. A few days ago, I found out that he had shared my private conversations with his friends on Facebook. These were things I had told him alone, so I was devastated because no one else was supposed to see those messages. I haven't been able to do anything about it, obviously, but this betrayal has hurt me a lot and I am too embarrassed to meet my friends because they have all seen these comments. I don't know what to do. He hasn't done anything illegal but, at the same time, this has been humiliating for me in a lot of ways and I don't know how to get over it.
You can start by contacting Facebook and seeing if they can get those private messages removed. They don't really do much about harassment online, unfortunately, so don't get your hopes up. As for meeting your friends, it may be better if you do. Telling them about what your ex has done will make it easier for them to empathise. It was wrong of him to do this, and he did it wilfully to hurt you and embarrass you in public, so your friends deserve to know the truth. Also keep in mind the fact that what seems like an insurmountable issue for you right now will simply cease to be important for everyone else a week from now. Attention spans are short, and you may be surprised how quickly your friends forget about this entire sordid episode.
How do I convince my boyfriend to dress better in public? He doesn't take it seriously and I think it affects his career prospects.
He's an adult and ought to be able to take these decisions on his own. You can make suggestions, of course, but accepting them will always be his prerogative even if you mean well.
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