My father is getting married again!

Updated: Jun 09, 2020, 07:25 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't think he should remarry so soon, because it feels disrespectful to my mother. Am I being selfish here? How do I cope with this?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy mother passed away a few months ago, and my father soon began dating a woman he used to work with. I was okay with this at the start, because I thought he needed to be with someone else to cope. He has decided to marry her though, and I don't know how to deal with this. I am happy for him, because it is obvious that he cares about this woman and that she makes him feel better. At the same time, I can't seem to understand why he moved on so quickly after my mother died. I don't think he should remarry so soon, because it feels disrespectful to my mother. Am I being selfish here? How do I cope with this?
You are entitled to feeling the way you do, because this is your mother. Your father, on the other hand, is also a person with feelings and coping mechanisms that may be radically different from your own. Each of us deals with grief and loss differently, because there is no manual on how human beings are supposed to feel. If this is something he needs to do, it really is his prerogative. You may think of it as disrespectful towards your mother, but she was also his wife. In time, you may feel differently. Until then, it may make more sense to try and support your father, given that he is now the only parent you have left.

I am madly in love with my boyfriend, but he doesn't seem that invested in this relationship. For him, this is just another affair that will end at some point and not evolve. He has said this to me, too, which hurts because I would like to try and make this something long-term. How do I get him to change the way he looks at us?
Actions usually speak louder than words, so I recommend you show him how much you love him. if he refuses to get it, you're probably better off with someone else.

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