My friend simply won't grow up!

Published: Nov 01, 2019, 05:12 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I thought she would grow out of it as we grew older, but some things haven't changed, and it is starting to affect our relationship

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy friend and I have been together for years, and one of the things that has always bothered me is her childish behaviour. I thought she would grow out of it as we grew older, but some things haven't changed, and it is starting to affect our relationship. It seems as if I have evolved and grown up, while she is still stuck in her childhood. I don't want to lose her friendship, which means a lot to me, but this is starting to get on my nerves, and I don't know what to do.

People mature differently, and don't develop along exactly the same lines. If your friend seems childish, you have simply matured faster than she has, for reasons that may have to do with the environment you grew up in, as well as your psychological makeup. If you don't want to lose this friendship, you need to try and be more accepting. It's not easy accepting someone for their virtues as well as their perceived faults, but that is what any serious relationship is ultimately about. You can tell your friend how you feel, and then simply come to terms that she is who she is and will change in her own time. Focus on what is important and why you want her in your life.

I had a serious accident a few months ago and was bedridden for four months. Almost none of my friends came to meet me after that first visit to hospital, which has made me re-evaluate my relationships with them. I am thinking of simply finding new friends. Is this a good idea?

Your friends may have had their own reasons for staying away, which may have nothing to do with how they feel about you. Having said that, you deserve to be with people who stick with you through good times as well as bad, so meet as many new people as you can. Whether you choose to end your current relationships with friends is entirely up to you.

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