My friends cut me out suddenly!

Published: 21 December, 2019 08:36 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know I have offended them in some way, but I have thought about this for a long time and simply can't figure out what I have done

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveTwo of my closest friends suddenly stopped hanging out with me a month ago. I don't know why this happened, because they haven't said anything to me or to our common friends. I know I have offended them in some way, but I have thought about this for a long time and simply can't figure out what I have done. I want to make amends but can't if I don't even know what the problem is. How do I approach the subject and get them to give me a chance?

All you can do is send them a message through other common friends, telling them how you feel. If you know you have offended them, tell them this, while being honest about not knowing what you have done. If they value this relationship, they should give you a chance to make amends. If they don't, maybe it wasn't as strong a friendship as you thought it would be. Like any relationship, the ability to forgive someone is extremely important, as is the ability to acknowledge a mistake and apologise. When you have done your part, they can choose to do theirs. All you can do is wait.

I am a 52-year old man and was recently divorced after 20 years of marriage. I am afraid of dating again, even though I want to, but I don't know how women will react to someone like me being single. Will I come across as a creepy, desperate man? How do I find someone my age who will consider going out with me?

There is no age at which we stop being attractive to other people. You have access to all kinds of platforms that now allow you to engage with and meet new people. You can simply ask friends and family to introduce you to someone. Dating is hard at any age, so your insecurity about this is perfectly normal. You won't be able to do anything about it until you simply reach out though.

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