'My friend's girlfriend calls me at odd hours'

Updated: Nov 22, 2017, 06:52 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

There are a number of things about my boyfriend that aggravate me a lot, but what I think is unforgivable is how he takes me for granted

Dr. Love

Dr. LoveThere are a number of things about my boyfriend that aggravate me a lot, but what I think is unforgivable is how he takes me for granted. He will make plans with his friends and assume I will be free, call me when I'm at work and assume I'm free to talk to him no matter what, and even order food at a restaurant for me if he gets there early, without bothering to check whether I want to eat what he has ordered. I keep telling him that his behaviour is unacceptable, but he doesn't even take this criticism seriously. If he  continues to behave like this, I may have no choice but to end this relationship. Am I being unreasonable? 

You have a number of valid reasons to be upset. If he does the things you claim he does, he really ought to be given a reality check. If he calls when you're busy, learn to hang up; if he orders something without asking, learn to send it back and insist on the menu; and if he makes plans without checking with you, learn to stick to your own plans and not show up. Some people are slow to learn that the other person in a relationship deserves to be respected. If your boyfriend is smart, he should learn this lesson soon enough. If he doesn't learn or, significantly, refuses to, you should evaluate why you are allowing him to take you for granted.

My friend's girlfriend calls me at inappropriate hours, which makes things awkward for me. I want to threaten her by saying I will inform my friend about this, but I haven't yet. What should I do?

Your friend doesn't own his girlfriend, so threatening to tell him about this is pointless. It's not when she calls but why she calls that should matter. If it bothers you, ask her to stop and tell her why it is a problem. If she doesn't stop, you are under no obligation to take those calls.

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