'My friends think she's not intelligent enough for me'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My friends like my girlfriend a lot, but think she is not intelligent enough for me to be with. How do I get them to change their opinion of her?
Why should their opinion matter to begin with? You choose to be with her for reasons that matter to you alone. Intelligence is also a very subjective thing. She may not think they're intelligent either, so don't worry about it.
I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend about some petty issue, and he retaliated by telling my friends I was cheating on him. This was a massive lie and he apologised to me when he found out, but says he doesn't want to apologise to my friends because it will make him look bad and they will never trust him again. I have told him that it was a lie and that he has to bear the consequences of his actions if he wants this relationship to work, but he wants me to forget it and put it behind us. I am very hurt by his actions and my friends will always continue to believe I cheated on him unless he speaks to them and clears this up. How do I get him to understand this and do the right thing? Isn't apologising to them the decent thing for him to do? Why should I allow him to get away with it?
You should not allow him to get away with it. If he has lied about something, he is morally bound to correct it, irrespective of how this changes the way your friends see him. He has attacked your reputation, which is a serious issue and he needs to take steps to make things right. Apologising to you is not enough, because there are other people involved who need to know what he has done. Put your foot down and insist on him speaking to your friends, and point out that not doing so can cause irreparable harm to your relationship.
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