My girlfriend and I fight all the time!

Updated: 03 October, 2020 06:35 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

She has now issued an ultimatum, saying I can agree to her demands or end this

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveMy girlfriend and I have reached a stage in our relationship where we just can't see eye to eye on some things. One of the big hurdles we have involves our future, and she refuses to see my point of view. she wants me to do things her way, and I have solid reasons for not being able to do this. She has now issued an ultimatum, saying I can agree to her demands or end this. I don't want to end this because I think we are great together, but I can't find a way out of this dilemma. How do I resolve it?

If you think you are both great together but can't find a way of working through this by arriving at a compromise, it's obvious that things aren't as great as you think they are. I don't know what the hurdle you mention is but, if it is important for you both, and neither of you can find a way of resolving it, there may be no hope for your relationship. Living together involves tackling all kinds of issues that people don't see eye to eye on. If the two of you sit down, have a calm discussion, and consider a future together, a solution will present itself. If you can't do that now, any problems that arise down the road will only bring you both back to the place you are currently in.

I can't stand my partner's family because they make me feel inadequate all the time. My partner doesn't see this and wants me to try harder. I can't ask him to give them up, but I can't keep trying to meet their expectations either, because it is unfair to me. Is there anything I can do to get him to understand my perspective?

You're right about it being unfair, and chances are they are a big blind spot for him. Why not talk about restricting the amount of time you have to spend with them, if nothing else works?

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First Published: 03 October, 2020 06:32 IST

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