My girlfriend and mother don't get along

Sep 15, 2018, 09:30 IST | Dr Love

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My girlfriend and mother don't get along

Dr. LoveMy mother and girlfriend don't get along. How can I get them to stop fighting?
They're adults and need to speak to each other more. I don't know how an outsider can help.

I am a 30-year old guy working abroad. When I was 15, I had a crush on a 22-year old girl who rejected me saying she liked someone else. We were close friends by then, so this broke my heart and we drifted apart. Her relationship recently ended, and she has been chatting with me a lot since then. We sometimes chat all night and she has opened up about a lot of things. She has started giving me hints about loving me, which I ignore. I recently came back on vacation and she asked me to pass by her house just to see me, as her parents have been very strict with her since her break-up. I am really confused. Does she really love me, or does she just need a buddy to share her problems with? I still love her and have not moved on since her rejection. Please help.
— Gary F
It's been 15 years since you last told this person how you feel, and the fact that you haven't moved on is confusing. Your inability to look at this rationally will obviously colour how you react to her change of heart, but I suggest you give it more time to find out how you feel about her. Speak to her as often as you can, see if things change over the next couple of months, and use your intuition to figure out if she speaks to you simply because she needs a shoulder to cry on. If it's not genuine, she may change how she responds to you. If it is, this will only get stronger with time. Either way, you have waited for over a decade, so waiting a few months more shouldn't be a problem. Don't rush into something for the wrong reasons if you're not sure about it.

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