'My guy and I had a bitter fight...'

May 22, 2015, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

My boyfriend lost his expensive cell phone, which I had given as a gift to him, last week...

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend lost his expensive cell phone, which I had given as a gift to him, last week. He claims he left it in the washroom of a multiplex and when he realised it and went back, it had gone. I was angry and upset as it had cost me a tidy sum. I gave him an earful and told him to stop his careless ways. He got annoyed and we had a bitter fight. He stopped texting me and calling me. I did call and text him, but he did not respond. I feel he is not interested in me any more. I have learnt through some of his friends that he is planning a getaway with them. He never mentioned this to me before. I think he has over-reacted and unnecessarily creating an issue. Should I just move on? We have been together for almost a year. He has on certain occasions told me that I should stop nagging him. I think the loss of the mobile phone gave him an excuse to walk away from me.
— Shalmali

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Shalmali,
Arguments and problems arise in every relationship, but it is the way you handle them that matters. You reacted to the loss of his cell phone and he took offence. When he told you about the loss, your instant reaction of horror and disbelief was fine. But you kept nagging him and telling him repeatedly about the loss. This is what initially irritated him, then infuriated him and later left him exasperated. Many women are initially sweet, but gradually over time turn into these horrendous nags. They then wonder why things are not the same anymore in the relationship. Saying the same thing over and over again is just annoying for anyone. Put yourself in his shoes — how would you have reacted if he kept reprimanding you repeatedly? I am sure you would have reacted in the same manner. If you want to still be with him, you need to apologise. If he is interested in you, he will reciprocate. If he does not, get the hint and move on.

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