'My guy finds me extremely controlling...'

Mar 05, 2015, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

I've been with my guy for almost a year. We usually see each other at weekends because of work commitments...

Dear Diana,
I've been with my guy for almost a year. We usually see each other at weekends because of work commitments. The trouble is, I'm a controlling person so I want to know everything about him. I want to know about his every move. He is constantly on my mind. This is affecting him and his work as I'm always calling him. He feels my behaviour is strange. Is something wrong with me? If I do not call him every two to three hours, I get restless. All kinds of thoughts bother me. I do not find anything wrong in my behaviour. He tells me I need help. He feels as I am of a suspicious nature, I need to change my behaviour. How do I explain to him that I am only expressing my concern for him? We have been having a lot of arguments about it.
— Shanaya

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Shanaya,
For any guy, a controlling girlfriend is a scary proposition. Your constant need to keep a check on him, leaves him frustrated and angry. You find yourself feeling more and more concerned about him, so you want to keep tabs on him. But there is a limit and you seem to be overdoing it. Somewhere along the way, you'll begin to see a change in your guy. You need to put a stop to this behaviour. Your guy will walk out of the relationship if you do not show any signs of change. You have to remember that a controlling person is insecure and possessive. And at the end of the day, you will be losing your guy. If you do not change your behaviour, he will one fine day be fed up of your behaviour and dump you. For starters, refrain from calling him every two hours. It will be difficult, but you need to do it if you do not want your guy to lose interest in you. From the looks of it, he already has, so stop getting into the controlling mode.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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