My husband has lost interest in me
troducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I am a 30-year old married woman and have been unemployed for two years now. Things were fine between me and my husband at the start, but he has lost all interest in me over the past three years. He barely speaks to me, and we haven't had a physical relationship for a long time, which means I can’t get pregnant. My in-laws have started to taunt me for this, but I can’t do anything about it because my husband doesn't show any inclination to renew our intimacy and doesn’t even support me in anything else around the house. My parents were against this marriage at the start, but eventually came around. I can't turn to them now and don’t even have any friends I can speak to. I have no job, no means of support, no child, and am struggling to find a reason to live. What should I do? How do I cope with this relationship that isn’t even real in a way? — LJ
If this is difficult for you, it’s obviously difficult for your husband too. Have the two of you tried having a conversation about why you are still together, or asked yourselves if you think things may change for the better? Living in a state of suspended animation, which is what it sounds like, can only make things harder, especially when it comes to dealing with your in-laws. I suggest you speak to your parents about this, because they will obviously have your best interests at heart even if they have disapproved of your marriage in the past. I also urge you to put yourself on the job market again, even if it doesn’t allow you to do the kind of job you used to before, because a change of circumstances can have a huge impact on your physical and mental well-being. Employment will also better your financial situation, which can mean a lot if you ever find yourself in a position where this relationship ends, and you have only yourself to rely upon.
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