My husband is like a stranger to me

Updated: Jan 29, 2020, 08:25 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy husband is like a stranger to meI am miserable in my marriage. We have been together for three months, and I don't even feel like a married woman. My husband is like a stranger who greets me in the morning and then says hello when he gets home from work at night. I don't know if he agreed to this just to make his parents happy, because this was arranged, but it's driving me insane because I feel unloved and unwanted. I just spend my time television. How do I resolve this?
One of the first things you need to do is focus on getting a life of your own, because watching television isn't going to be of any use whatsoever. If your husband isn't communicating, you may simply have to try harder to get through to him. Speak to family and friends and confide in someone who can have a conversation with him on your behalf. Arranged marriages can be tricky, but they can also work when channels of communication are open. You are right to feel as miserable as you do, but this cannot be resolved without honesty or an attempt to reach out.

I don't know if my girlfriend is manipulating me or I am just overthinking everything she does. She is nice to me when she wants us to do something she likes, and not very friendly when I suggest something instead. How do I get her to change?
If you're unhappy about something, you should talk about it at that moment instead of thinking about it later. Be open about how you feel, talk about why something is upsetting you, and ask her why her wishes are more important than your own. It takes time for a couple to arrive at a better understanding of each other's likes and desires. Mutual respect is mandatory though, so tell her how you feel every day if you have to, until the message goes through.

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