'My husband is most unreasonable...'

Oct 21, 2014, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

We've been married for three years. For the past few months, I feel let down by my husband.

Dear Diana,
We've been married for three years. For the past few months, I feel let down by my husband. When I ask him if we can go somewhere or buy something beyond the daily essentials, he'll always say he has no money. As we had a baby six months ago, I am currently not working. So I have been extremely tight with the home budget. I have been doing my best to avoid unnecessary expenditure, but I realise that my husband has turned spendthrift. He regularly socialises with his friends and it makes me really mad. He is also planning a weekend getaway with his pals. I have been focussing all my attention on him and the baby. I have cut myself off from everything else. I feel that my hubby is being unreasonable and his behaviour is unjustified. When I ask him he says as the baby is too small, I need to stay housebound. It appears that he has been having all the fun while I have been left doing household chores alone. I feel frustrated and depressed.
— Tejal

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Tejal,
If you keep nagging your husband, he will want to get away from the home scenario as often as possible. His constant socialising is making you feel frustrated. Instead of fighting with him, first sit down and tell your husband what you feel about the current situation. Tell him exactly what is on in your mind. It appears that you went the extreme way of cutting corners and depriving yourself of stuff. This was your way of pleasing your hubby. On the other hand, your hubby decided to go the other extreme finding that there was a surplus left thanks to your extreme ways. Instead of cribbing, make your husband too involved in the household and baby stuff, this will prevent him from his social escapades.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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