'My partner is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off and started dating soon after. I thought he was a little obsessed with his ex-girlfriend though, because he kept talking about her a lot. It didn't bother me initially because I assumed he was just opening up and wanted to vent about what went wrong. A few weeks ago, I found out that he had been stalking his ex though. She put up a message on Facebook asking him to stop, and I saw it because he responded to that post and it cropped up on my timeline. I confronted him about this and he laughed it off, saying that she was just exaggerating things. I am not so sure though, because I really do think he hasn't moved on from that relationship. He still talks about her when we go out on dates and changing the topic doesn't make a difference either. What should I do about this? I don't even feel like going out with him these days because every conversation deteriorates into a discussion about his earlier relationship.
Stalking someone is a serious issue, and your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend can reach out to authorities and get him to stop if this gets out of hand. If it does sound as if he is obsessed with her, you are within your rights to call him out on it though. If it seems as if he hasn't moved on, and your relationship with him isn't going the way you would like it to, you should speak to him and come up with a few ground rules about things you aren't comfortable with. Give him a chance to explain, point out what you are and are not happy to discuss, and see if that changes things for the better. If it doesn't, you may have a problem. People take time to get over relationships, and there's nothing wrong with discussing them, but your feelings about this need to be taken into consideration too.
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