My son hates his stepmom

May 22, 2012, 06:37 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana, I'm a middle-aged guy. I lost my wife five years ago and have now remarried.

I have a nine-year-old son who loves me a lot. My trouble is he doesn’t like, let alone love, his stepmother. She is a great support system as well as a very nice person. I don’t understand why my son doesn’t get along with her. The other day he was extremely rude to her. This particular behaviour worries me as he never shared his thoughts when I introduced her to him for the first time. I assumed he was okay with my marrying someone I find solace in. Maybe he thinks I’ve forgotten his mother which isn’t true.
— Namod

Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Namod,
The problem is that you did not prepare your son or explain to him the need to do so before you decided to remarry. He was taken by surprise and it is but natural that he will resent a new mother. In such situations the parent has to take the child into confidence. You say that she is a great support system... this is what you should have explained to your child before you took the step. The child should have been mentally prepared for the presence of another person in the house. You need to talk to him and give him some time. Overnight you don’t expect him to start calling her mommy. It will take a while, so for now just let him be. 

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