My wife has lost all interest in sex

Updated: Jan 28, 2020, 08:25 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy wife is not at all interested in sex after the birth of our second child. My child is now 6 years old and we have had sex between 2 and 4 times in all this time. I am desperate and think about sex every day. What do I do? I am afraid I will leave without sex. Please guide me.
— Jitendra P
What your wife is going through is fairly common, because motherhood changes the body in ways we have yet to fully understand. If she is reluctant to have sex with you, there are emotional and physical reasons for this that require counselling. It may have nothing to do with a lack of interest in you, and everything to do with how she feels about her own body. I suggest you speak to her about this, tell her why physical intimacy is important to you, and ask her if she is prepared to do something about it. If she is, the best thing you can both do is speak to a counsellor or sex therapist and get some advice on how to make this work in a manner that suits you both.

I have been dating a girl for a few months. We seem to have a strong attraction towards each other but, for some reason, things don't seem to go further. I don't know if she wants a relationship, or if she just likes spending time with me. It's driving me crazy. I want to just ask her directly but haven't had the courage to do this because I don't want to come across too strong and frighten her. Is there a subtle way of asking her about this?
I think the hint of attraction you both share is subtle enough. You won't scare her away by simply being honest about how you feel. If you do, you will get your answer anyway. Think about how long you are prepared to carry on in a state of limbo and take the plunge whenever you're ready.

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