'My wife refuses to try oral sex'

Updated: Jan 15, 2020, 07:23 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

We have spoken about this on a number of occasions, and she keeps saying she is not comfortable with the idea yet.

Dr LoveI have been married for almost a year now, and things have been great for a long time except for the fact that my wife refuses to consider oral sex. We have spoken about this on a number of occasions, and she keeps saying she is not comfortable with the idea yet. This is affecting our sex life, because I want her to try it and she keeps putting it off. How do I convince her to do this? I don't want it to affect our physical intimacy and cause other problems.
This is about likes and dislikes, which needn't match because it involves our bodies. If your wife is uncomfortable with something, but hasn't ruled it out entirely, doesn't it make sense to give her as much time and space as she needs to allow her to get used to the idea? If she is putting it off, it's because she probably has good reasons for it and hasn't explained them to you yet. She isn't forcing you to do things you don't want to, so why expect her to go against her own desires? It has only been a year, and she obviously wants to be as sexually satisfied as you want to be. I suggest you take things slow and allow her to get comfortable with you at her own pace. This isn't something that can derail a relationship if you don't allow it to. Talk about it honestly and be patient.

I am embarrassed because even though I love my girlfriend, I have an unhealthy obsession with her mother. I get more turned on by her mother than by her. What should I do?
It is fairly common to be attracted to an older person, even if it happens to be your girlfriend's mother. Instead of being embarrassed, try and think about where this attraction is coming from and why it exists. Speak to a counsellor for some advice, understand why this isn't a reasonable path to consider, and don't worry about it too much.

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